Not In Kansas Anymore (NIKA)

So Cleansing...

Some of Dorothy's bath toys (esp. the ducks) have been getting mildew or something inside of them, presumably due to not properly drying out. So, last night during bath time, Elizabeth's suggestion was that it was time to:

give the duck a bleach enema.

So funny, yet so disturbing...

Well, today I gave the duck (and a few others toys) the bleach enema, and now they're squeaky (was the pun intended, or wasn't it? you'll never know...) clean!

Flame On!

Seen on the back of a trailer parked in the construction zone behind our house:

So, does this mean that the contents of the trailer are controversial and might start an internet flame war?

Weed Galore

Reason magazine's news blog "Hit and Run" links to a NYT story about a couple who don't want to leave New Orleans. In addition to regular supplies and a fully intact house, they have something else:

Ms. Harris said she did not want to leave. "I haven't even run out of weed yet," she said.

Go read the comments on the post - there are so many useful things and funny things being said.

More Alternate Viewpoints for Kansas

Elizabeth sent me the link to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ("Touched by His Noodly Appendage"). It's a hilarious site, and is devoted to the author's letter to the Kansas School Board about a theory other than Intelligent Design that the author thinks should be taught in schools. Go read and smile. :-)

A Falling Onion Controversy!

Thanks to Scott for pointing me towards the latest in the science vs. religion wars, courtesy of that most stolid of news sources, The Onion ("Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory").

Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

Gotta love The Onion to put things in perspective. :-)

Is It "Bass Ackwards?"

There was a great line in today's Dilbert:

With all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole.

Mixed Mice Messages

While looking around yesterday for mouse traps, I saw the following gruesome combination of items on the Home Depot website. Maybe others also thihk Mickey should be taken out with extreme prejudice:

A New Tallest Building

CNN reports on a plan to build the tallest building in the nation. It would be in Chicago, home of the country's current tallest skyscraper. Here's a rendering of the design:

According to the article:

The proposed Chicago skyscraper, designed in a twisting shape like an enormous drill bit, is designed by [Santiago Calatrava]
...
The new building would be called the Fordham Spire.

No it won't. I'm from Chicago and I think I know a little bit about the personality of the city. Whatever the building's official name, it is going to be called the "Chicago Screw."

Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing

I remember running across this site when we were just starting to think about names for our baby, I think before we even found out we were having a girl. I was just reminded of it again by a post on Blogging Baby, and had to go reread. People have some amazingly silly names for their kids, and the snarky comments of the author are perfect. A few samples after the break:

---

I once met a lady named Rodana. I think she runs a successful internet business.

In her spare time she destroys Tokyo.

---

I was thinking of naming my son Toolio. Does anyone know the origin on that one?
---[Jane] DeSac

Toolio DeSac. Boy, can't think of any way that kid'll get picked on. That's one taunt-proof name there!

---

How about Lou? When I was in England, I heard that name and it seemed to have a little tinkle to it. Randy is good too.

You weren't listening QUITE hard enough in England, were you?

---

May I suggest:

• Calaya Tanith
  
• Calaya Branwen
  
• Calaya Delphine
  
• Calaya Faerin
  
• Calaya Gwendolen
  
• Calaya Maeve
  
• Calaya Magdalen
  
• Calaya Mairead
  
• Calaya Niamh
  
• Calaya Nimue
  
• Calaya Roisin (ro-SHEEN)
  
• Calaya Siobhan (sha-VON)
  
• Calaya Talwen
  
• Fainne Maeve
  
• Fainne Roisin
  
• Fainne Tanith

No. No, you bloody well may not suggest them. Please leave us alone and resume reading "The Annotated Legends of the Runes of the Mystical Arthurian Knighthood of the Sacred Circle of the Shield of the Spell-Casting Princess Faeries of the Grail of Blackwynne Castle. Book II."

---

There are plenty more where these came from - check it out!

It's Full of...What?

In case you haven't heard about it yet, go to Google Moon to see their latest mapping project. And make sure that you try zooming in all the way.

Real Estate is Better than Sex

In his July 1 letter, John Mauldin begins his "Thoughts on the housing bubble" with this bit:

Looking at a recent magazine covers one is left with the impression that the whole world is concerned about US real estate prices. This is borne out by the fact that if you go to Google and type in sex you get 78,000,000 hits. If you type in real estate you get 110,000,000 hits, which makes housing about 40% more interesting than sex. Is there a greater sign of a bubble?

Waiting for Harry Potter

Musings in the shower this morning: does Hogwarts have a Sex Ed class for the older students? You know, magical methods of contraception, the dangers of using engorgement charms on yourself - the basics.

Bad Ad Choice

There was a story in today's NYTimes about the death of the Wal-Mart heir John Walton in a plane crash. Unfortunately, the (presumably random) ad for the NYTimes Store that was in the story's sidebar was not in good taste:

Pajama Style

Last night, as we were getting Dorothy ready for bed, Tom pulled her pajama pants way up, and then told her, "You look like an old man!"

I answered, "Yeah, Grandpa Bill used to wear fairy princess pajamas to bed every night."

The Better Playground

Elizabeth sent me this humorous blog entry about the Toddler Conspiracy. It ends:

Caregiver is deceiving you. There is another, better playground, a Naked Playground, with balloons and ice cream and cake. The soiled diaper will lead the way.

Jesus Joke

Earlier today I saw the following as the sub-header on The Zero Boss:

Jesus has Risen! Remove from oven and let stand 45 minutes before serving.

Dirty Clothes

By "dirty" I mean "vulgar." At least, the folks at Potty Mouth sure have some not-so-clean shirts for babies. Very funny ones, but not any that I think we could send Dorothy to daycare in...

Fake Paper

It sure is getting easier to publish a scientific paper. You can have your computer write it for you! And if you find someone with almost no standards or feedback, then you can probably get them to accept it, too.

Southern Boys and Their Duct Tape

There's a great quote from this story about honoring the engineers who helped save the Apollo 13 crew:

"One thing a Southern boy will never say is 'I don't think duct tape will fix it."

Catching Fire Didn't Kill Him...

Virginia Mason confirmed yesterday that a patient ignited while on the operating table in late 2003, but said that was not the cause of his death,

Yes, it's sad that this man died during surgery, and it should be comforting to know that catching fire during surgery was not the cause of his death. But, um, catching fire during surgery? I don't think that's listed as one of the medical dangers of major surgery...

Heavy Petting

From the taken-out-of-context file, we have the following tidbit spoken this evening:

Of course you've petted her; she sleeps in your crotch.

Fight Club

I never saw the movie Fight Club, but after seeing one of the branches of this company, I of course thought:

The first rule of Tutoring Club is - you do not talk about Tutoring Club. The second rule of Tutoring Club is - you DO NOT talk about Tutoring Club.

Quote of the day

"Don't you swear at Easter eggs!" (Three guesses what we were doing tonight.)

Piss Off

I think "Piss Off" would be a great name for either a detergent for children's clothes (something like Dreft), or for a pet urine cleanser (such as Nature's Miracle).

This thought occurred to me as I was changing my clothes this evening due to Dorothy's having taken a leak onto them. We think this is the first time she's gotten either of our clothes with pee or poop, but she managed to get both of us in one go. The last few nights, Dorothy's been peeing a bit right after we toss her in the bathtub. I don't know why she's doing it, as she hadn't done it before. But tonight, apparently she didn't wait until getting in the tub - instead she let loose while Elizabeth was holding her just in front of the tub.

I shouldn't complain, since we've gotten away clean until now, and Dorothy's been generally good about not making an un-diapered mess when she's not on the changing table. I'm just curious as to why she'd start now.

Feeding Humor

Even though Dorothy has been pretty good about eating recently, today's Adam @ Home certainly reminds me of the not-too-distant past...

Alien Invasion Manual

My Little Golden Book About Zogg is hilarious. DaddyTypes describes it best:

Either a hi-larious parody or an ominous warning for our planet or an irreverent blasphemy, or all three

It's a pretty quick read, so go check it out.

Once You're In the Vestibule, Don't Turn Right...

Elizabeth sent me an article about artificially inseminating elephants (I certainly don't go out searching for this kind of article myself). My favorite quote from the story?

Of much of the past two decades of failed attempts to inseminate elephants, Hawkes said: "My guess is they were usually just inseminating the bladder."

Ouch.

Escape Vehicle

Said by me the other evening while playing a game of "I'm gonna get ya!":

Oh no! Dorothy's escaping on her get-away hippo!

Yes, that's right folks: Those cowboys who robbed banks and then escaped on horses should instead have been using hippos.

He Can't Drive 55

On the lighter side, also from CNN today, a story about a four year old boy in Michigan who drove his mom's car to the video store. From the story:

Although unable to reach the accelerator, the boy managed to put the car in gear and make his way to the store, a quarter-mile from his home, about 1:30 a.m. Friday, Sand Lake Police Chief Doug Heugel said. Finding the store closed, the youngster began a slow trip home.

Cats Help with Poop?

The following was said recently by Elizabeth, and I unfortunately completely agree with her:

It's a little known fact that having a cat stand on your shoulders does not help you poop any better.

Unexpected pleasures

In the category of things I never thought I'd say (and never really want to say again): "Mommy's nostrils are not for pulling up on."

Mud In Your Eye

While feeding Dorothy dinner tonight, right after a minor accident:

Here's turkey in your eye, kid

Out of Context, #1

Quote, by Elizabeth to Dorothy, taken out of context:

Maybe you and Daddy can spank your balls together

Context: We were talking about a beach ball and a small yellow ball that came with the exersaucer, and the way in which Dorothy hits them. Get your mind out of the gutter! ;-)